I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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