I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
