yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
this hospital has no fireball
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
