Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
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i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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