you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
