Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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