never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
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After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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