I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
