I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
