never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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