I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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