dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
