guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
