I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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