He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize