her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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