All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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