i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
