I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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