Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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