saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
