so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
