i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
