Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
