The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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