i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
