i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
