I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
