READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
