what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
