how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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