Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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