that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
