THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
