Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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