I am in a vortex of obligation.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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