So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
