what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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