i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so let's talk penis.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
