his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
