I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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