Who did Billy Mays play for?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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