So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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