Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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