break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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