dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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