First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
