there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
