after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
