we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
