Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
