Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
