I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
