i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
its liver damage thursday
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
