I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
zippers are such a cool invention
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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