i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
