you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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