Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
