proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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