i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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