I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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