Just fell off a train. Bad.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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