I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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