fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
